August 21, 1998 From Joro

DEAR DEBBIE,

I want you to remember these things

- THAT LIFE actually is not ours
- You had your freedom from that asshole you fought FOR it
- You have graduated and made it to the top
- You're on the job now

and PROMISE me to do the final stage. Forget about Jay because he is aleady dead, you cannot bring him back to life. You have to do it, ok?

- You DESERVE to be happy - you're nice - you're beautiful- remain always beautiful.
I have enclosed our gift fo you on this envelope. Please take care always and don't you ever look back to your past.

- We've heard that you're not eating the past days. We understand. Someday things will turn out RIGHT in your favor and Jay will be be totally out of your mind. JUST remain to be strong and pray always fo you to think clearly.

see you.
joro

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( Message fom Tito Cocoy before he died) For Debbie

November 8, 1998

For Debbie very sincerely!

Keep this to inspire you-----------------------Take good care and love yourself always; you're the first person to keep loving / taking care of yourself. Gift yourself with what is best for you every second of your life. Other persons are second best only. If Jay really cares for you, he will find you. If he is truly dead , it's over. Please love yourself Goodnight.

I love you my child,
tito Cocoy R.R.

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Fears

"“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us."
by: Marianne Williamson"

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I am still a prisoner of my past

I understand some viewers of your concerns. I am sorry if I can't reply to you right away. Yes, being friends is okay with me but I still has an unfinished business to do. I have been through a lot of things and it is not just easy for me to be trusting anybody now. This one serves as my diary online so you can confer my personality through here although some private things are for me to be kept not on air and online, I have my personal journal to some of those. It is not that I am ignoring any of your concerns but please try to understand I have to be finishing some things really. In short , I am still a prisoner of my past. You will know it when am over these things...Thank you for understanding me. God bless

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My Life is in your hands

Life can be so good
Life can be so hard
Never knowing what each day
Will bring to where you are
Sometimes I forget
And sometimes I can't see
That whatever comes my way
You'll be with me

My life is in your hands
My heart is in your keeping
I'm never without love
Not when my future is with you

My life is in your hands
And though I may not see clearly
I will lift my voice and sing
Cause your love does amazing things
Lord, I know, my life is in your hands

Nothing is for sure
Nothing is for keeps
All I know is that your love
Will live eternally
So I will find my way, yes
And I will find my peace
Knowing that you'll meet my every need

My life is in your hands
My heart is in your keeping
I'm never without love
Not when my future is with you

My life is in your hands
And though I may not see clearly
I will lift my voice and sing
Cause your love does amazing things
Lord, I know, my life is in your hands

When I'm at my weakest love
You carry me
Then I become my strongest love
In your hands

My life is in your hands
And though I may not see clearly
I will lift my voice and sing
Cause your love does amazing things
Lord, I know, my life is in your hands
I trust you Lord
My life is in your hands

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In this life I was loved by you

In this life I was loved by you -Collin Raye-

For all I've been blessed with in this life
There was an emptiness in me
I was imprisoned by the power of gold
With one honest touch you set me free
Let the world stop turnin'
Let the sun stop burnin'
Let them tell me
Love's not worth goin' through
If it all falls apart
I will know deep in my heart
The only dream that mattered
Had come true
In this life I was loved by you
For every mountain I have climbed
Every raging river crossed
You were the treasure
That I longed to find
Without your love I would be lost
Let the world stop turnin'
Let the sun stop burnin'
Let them tell me
Love's not worth going through
If it all falls apart
I will know deep in my heart
The only dream that mattered
Had come true
In this life I was loved by you
In this life I was loved by you

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Tuwing Umuulan- regine velasquez

Pagmasdan ang ulan unti-unting pumapatak
Sa mga halama't mga bulaklak
Pagmasdan ang dilim unti-unting bumabalot
Sa buong paligid t'wing umuulan
Kasabay ng ulan bumubuhos ang iyong ganda
Kasabay ng hanging kumakanta
Maaari bang huwag ka nang
Sa piling ko'y lumisan pa
Hanggang ang hangi't ula'y tumila na

CHORUS 1:
Buhos ng ulan aking mundo'y lunuring tuluyan
Tulad ng pag-agos mo
'Di mapipigil ang puso kong nagliliyab
Pag-ibig ko'y umaapaw
Damdamin ko'y humihiyaw sa tuwa
Tuwing umuulan ay kapiling ka

Pagmasdan ang ulan unti-unting tumitila
Ikaw ri'y magpapaalam na oh
Maaari bang minsan pa
Mahagkan ka't maiduyan pa
Sa tubig at ulan lamang ang saksi

CHORUS 2:
Minsan pa ulan bumuhos ka
Huwag nang tumigil pa
Hatid mo ma'y bagyo
Dalangin ito ng puso kong sumasamo
Pag-ibig ko'y umaapaw
Damdamin ko'y humihiyaw sa tuwa
Tuwing umuulan at kapiling kaLa la la...
Maaari bang minsan pa
Mahagkan ka't maiduyan pa
Sa tubig at ulan lamang ang saksi

REPEAT CHORUS 1REPEAT CHORUS

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Blessings

When God closes a door, He opens a window... but at times He shuts both, worry not for He would tear down the roof so His blessings could overflow...

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A miracle and Unrepeatable

This is only one world, the world pressing against you at this minute. There is only one minute in which you are alive, this minute...here and now. The only way to live this is by accepting each minute as unrepeatable miracle. Which exactly what it is- a miracle and unrepeatable.

Storm Jameson

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To Where you are

"To Where You Are"

Who can say for certain
Maybe you're still here
I feel you all around me
Your memory, so clear
Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You're still an inspiration
Can it be (?)

That you are mine
Forever love
And you are watching over me from up above
Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile to know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn't faith believing
All power can't be seen
As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday

'Cause you are my
Forever love
Watching me from up above
And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave

Fly me up
To where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile

If only for awhile
To know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are
I know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

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You raised me up- Josh Groban

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.

There is no life - no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.

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JUST ONE LAST DANCE by: Sarah Connor


Just one last dance....oh baby
...just one last dance

We meet in the night in the Spanish café
I look in your eyes just don't know what to say
It feels like I'm drowning in salty water
A few hours left 'til the sun's gonna rise
tomorrow will come and it's time to realize
our love has finished forever
how I wish to come with you (wish to come with you)
how I wish we make it through

Chorus:
Just one last dance before we say goodbye
when we sway and turn round and round
and round it's like the first time
Just one more chance hold me tight
and keep me warm cause the night is getting cold and
I don't know where I belong
Just one last dance
The wine and the lights and the Spanish guitar
I'll never forget how romantic they are
but I know, tomorrow I'll lose the one I love
There's no way to come with you
it's the only thing to do

Chorus 3x (until fade)
Just one last dance,
just one more chance,
just one last dance

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MARK TERENZI

MARK TERENZI -

I can't believe I'm standing here
Been waiting for so many years and
Today I found the king to reign my heart
You changed my life so patiently
And turned it into something good and real
I feel just like I felt in all my dreams
There are questions hard to answer
Can't you see…

Chorus:

Baby, tell me how can I tell you
That I love you more than life
Show me how can I show you
That I'm blinded by your light
When you touch me I can touch you
To find out the dream is true
I love to be loved by you

You're looking kind of scared right now
You're waiting for the wedding vows
But I don't know if my tongue's able to talk
Your beauty is just blinding me
Like sunbeams on a summer stream and
I gotta close my eyes to protect me
Can you take my hand and lead me
From here please yeah...yeah...

Chorus:
Baby, tell me how can I tell you
That I love you more than life
Show me how can I show you
That I'm blinded by your light
When you touch me I can touch you
To find out the dream is true
I love to be loved, I need to be loved
I love to be loved by you

I know they gonna say our love's not strong enough to last forever
And I know they gonna say that we'll give up because of heavy weather
But how can they understand that our love is just heaven sent
We keep on going on and on cause this is where we both belong…

Chorus:
Baby, tell me how can I tell you
That I love you more than life
Show me how can I show you
That I'm blinded by your light
When you touch me I can touch you
To find out the dream is true
I love to be loved,
I need yes I need to be loved
I love to be loved by you
Yes I love to be loved by you

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March 1995 Jay's letter when he was assigned in England

Dear Debbie,

I hope you are feeling well today upon receiving this letter. If not I will make you feel better. How's that? First let me tell you a joke. What do you call a cow without legs? Ground Beef! I know it's too corny, but at least I'm trying. I remember when we used to stay out after school- with our uniforms and just talk until dark. One of the serious talks we had that I can remember was when I used to say: This is where I belong ( Philippines). And you would crack me up when you say " GMA" now, that was funny. I know sometimes I get too serious to myself, people can even feel it. I have changed a lot since, and now people feel I'm a big joke to myself. I'm not saying I'm crazy, but humor makes my life easy.

About my life, like you I try to make the best out of it. I have a job in the U.S. Airforce as a Supply Specialist. I basically work in a warehouse with mostly airplane parts and other things the base needs. I maintain storage and distribution of items in our warehouse. Almost like a grocery store, but we take it to our customers. If the mechanic needs screws or new tires for the plane, they call us up and we prepare the items for them and most of the time delivered to them. The job can be technical, but I hope at least I gave you an idea what I do. I enjoy it, especially the travel.
Right now you've been writing me at my old address in Japan ( APO Ap 96319-2809) . I have already left Japan since last December. I was there for 2 years from '92 - '94. So I just finished my tour there. I am now stationed in Royal Air Force Mildenhall, England.

Here's my new address:
PSC 37 BOX 51
RAF MILDENHALL
BURY ST EDMUNDS
SUFFOLK IP28 8NF
ENGLAND

I will be here for 2 years believe it or not. I may have been stationed in the Philippines if Clark Air base stayed open. However, I go where the Air force needs me.

I went home last Christmas to see my family in Utah. We had a reunion after 2 years I was gone, Reubien also in Airforce stationed far away, and Jojo in college at Hawaii. John Boy is finishing high school and Lei-lei is growing real fast almost as tall as me. Time has gone so fast without knowing it.

Well, Debbie, this is only to brief you what's happening. I don't have my thoughts together to write you a good letter right now. I am too busy this week studying and working for a big speech I have to give for a General this Friday. I hope you'll understand. I promise to get back with you when this is over. I received your letters and heard your stories. This may sound corny, but right now, "keep your feet on the ground and reach for the stars."

your friend,
jay-jay

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Jay's first letter (dated December of 1992) after March of 1992

December 1992

Dearest Deborah,

How's it goin now for you? How about college? life? Boyfriend? (J/k). Man, it's christmas again and you're a year older too. I guess you thought I forgot about you already NOT! I really didn't because you are you're one of those I know who has their birthdays on christmas. See.

Well, I'm here taking it easy as usual. Don't be surprise but... Im in Japan! Yep! I'm in Japan. To make the long story short. I joined the U.S. Air Force or the military I would say . I guess just like your dad if I'm right one of those like him but for the U.S. In the Air Force we're not cadets but airman they call us. Until I'm commissioned or become an officer I'd be called Lieutenant, Captain, Major , etc... I hope eventually. This is not like CAT in High School it's the real thing. I could be sent to war if so anytime I'll die for my country.

I joined the Air Force because they recruited me and offered benefits including college. Free medical and dental care and food and housing also. It was a deal of enlistment for 4 years. Somehow I ended up in Japan because they sent me here. My first station or base. Too bad clark and subic bases are gone. If I wanted I could even visit the PI again with only 15$ air fare.

Yep! That's what's up with me. Now it's your turn to tell me your story at this address:

Flores, J.J
PSC 76, box 2809
APO Ap 96319 - 2809

Peace!
Airman

With this is a card beautiful card ( which is being scanned w Japanese money and a Lotte Blueberry juicy fruit gum). The letter that give inspiration to my life up to now. That's how thoughtful Jay is.

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Jay's message- journal 16 March 1992

Dear Debbie,

I hope you don't mind me writing on the middle page of your journal. I just want mine to be saved when you, as well as this book get so old that first and last pages get torn off; or incase it gets wet. I was just kidding about you getting old.
I want you to know that you are a special friend to me and everybody. And don't you ever forget that. Okey? I want you to always remember... " A friend is one who lets you share the happiness of being yourself and still like you, hence, we all need at least on good friend and am glad to have found one... That's you!".
Please enjoy life as it is. But remember that the most joyous life is exaltation. Aim for it!

love,
jay-jay

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